DEFCON 3

Alright....ankle fail is at DEFCON 3*.
Even though I iced before I went to bed, the fact that I had to be on my feet all day (and wearing shoes--no barefooting for me at work...) basically put me back at the "advil-isn't-cutting-it" stage.

I somehow pushed myself to go to the gym after a 7 am workday. I will NEVER understand people who like working out in the afternoon. I was so pre-exhausted from an intense workday PLUS I had to deal with the fact that my ankle was throbbing the whole time that I found it nearly impossible to push myself the way I normally do.

I did have the forethought to run to CVS & buy a wrap for my ankle, so that I could at least have a little stability while I lifted, squatted, and otherwise attempted to make up for the ridiculous number of calories I consumed this afternoon after I realized that my packed lunch** was inedible and that I had to resort to a prepackaged meal from Starbucks (since the food court doesn't actually sell food***).

I had tried to purchase said wrap before work, but I apparently do not live within a 10 mile radius of a 24 hour Walgreens. I had to be at work at 7 am, so I left the house at 6 so I would have time to find a Walgreens & indulge my caffeine addiction before clocking in. I stopped at not one but THREE drugstores (two Walgreens & a CVS), and not one of them was open. Seriously? You couldn't get to my old house without passing two 24 hour Walgreens. I'm terribly disappointed. And in pain because I couldn't wrap my ankle until 4:30 pm.

Anyway.

My workout was "meh" at best. I had to cut all of the jumping movements out of my dynamic warm up. I tried jumping jacks at the outset and my leg said, "Thanks, but no thanks." I didn't push it.

I'm feeling weak, and I don't like it. I'm still gaining body fat (as evidenced by the fact that yet another pair of pants is now in the "I can't fit my rear end into this anymore" drawer), and I'm frustrated as hell. So instead of going out tonight, I'm icing my ankle, going to sleep, and hoping that I can run tomorrow, because I somehow have to make it through a family dinner at an Italian restaurant without having a panic attack over the pasta course tomorrow night.

I honestly don't know what to do.

To top it all off, I'm facing a really huge "win-lose" decision at work, and as much as I'd like to just make the selfish decision because it's technically the easy one, I'm having a hard time determining if it's actually a decision that's going to help my career growth or my team in the end.

I'll leave you on a positive note, though:
At the gym today, I ended up training near where an overweight girl was working with one of the trainers. We started talking while resting between sets (after I complimented her on holding her planks for a minute, which, trust me, is NOT easy). At one point, I was doing my offset squat/shoulder press superset, and, as I grunted my way through the last rep on the shoulders (a rep, by the way, that I don't know how I pulled off,  because my shoulders were DONE and I felt terrible about since it was one rep less than I wanted to do), she turned to me and said, "You are really amazing."
So even though I feel terrible about my workout, or not lifting enough, or whatever, there is someone out there who looks at what I do and is inspired to push herself. I guess I can live with that. And try to stop hating on myself. Yeah, that's a work in progress.

Kaila

WORKOUT:
Dynamic Warmup (amended to remove all jumping movements) 
Super Set 1: Woodchops (8x3x2) & Planks (90 s)
Super Set 2: Offset Dumbbell Squats (8x3x2) & Standing Alternating Dumbbell Shoulder Press (6x3x2)-->raised the weight on the shoulder press
Super Set 3: Single-Leg Dumbbell Deadlifts (8x3x2) & Machine Assisted Chin Ups (6x3)-->raised the weight on the Deadlifts & lowered the assist on the chin ups
Super Set 4: Alternating Lateral Lunges with Dumbbells (8x3x2) & Two Point Single-Arm Dumbbell Rows (8x3x2)-->raised the weight on the lateral lunges


*Which, in my strange, little brain, means serious, serious preemptive RICE. 
**Remind me NEVER to ruin a good meal of green beans, bell peppers, and sweet potatoes with canned salmon again. It was all I could do not to vomit.
***And if that DAMN FALAFEL GUY tries to convince you that the shit he's peddling is healthy because it's vegetarian, vegan, gluten & lactose free, then feel free to remind him that he's holding a tray of fried food and that he's an idiot.